Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Ode on winning of  de Entente Florale

Ode on winning of  de Entente Florale

For Joseph Lordan

Told ye so. Told ye we could win it

‘Spite de filth o' de likes o' ye

With yere baseball caps and yere baggy pants ,

Yere ghetto blasters and yere nigger music,

Yere flagons and yere Mitsoobeachies*,

And de trainee hoors hanging offa ye.

Rollin in muck ye are, de flays ating ye.

Manged an’ stinkin like tinkers’ mares

like yere faaders and mudders before ye,

but I’d say yere not too sure who bore ye

Shir who pished you out Twishty? De milkman?

De coalman? One o' Fossetts’ weepin clowns?

This here’s ‘come a champion little  town

All down to good people like me.

We’ve patched every crack with vines ,

Blossoms cover every stain. Tis like paradise,

‘ceptin ye, ye shnakes,  ye divils,  ye dirty filthy

feckin animals. Ye give us all a bad name.

*Mitsubishis are a  brand of E

******

Ode on winning of  de Entente Florale is from my 2007 Collection The Boy in The Ring.

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Fearless

Fearless

Fearless

I’m fuckin fearless

Try me now why don’t ya

An’  I promise ya faithfully

Ya won’t last too long

Cos I’m the wan they’re all on about

When they’re drinkin their fuckin coffee

Above in Sullivan’s café

Yeh I’m the wan that ripped the fag machine

Down off the wall above in Bernie’s lounge

I’m the likes that spreads myself  out on a bench

Above in the square of a summer’s day

Suckin a flagon with me shirt tore off an’ me pot belly out

Fuckin an’ blindin anyone who’d be passin

Tellin dem I’m fearless fuckin fearless

Last Friday I got shteamed above in Cork

Got fucked outta Henry’s for bitin some youngfella’s ear off

Well as I was passin out beyond the viaduct

I got a mad tashpie to run out on the road

An’ I screamin into the headlights how I’m fearless fuckin fearless

I’m the laziest oul bollox that ever you  met

But I’d ate your fuckin eyeballs in a shot

I ’m barred from every pub in town an’ every bookies too

But I’d walk to Tipperary for a drink an’ a bet

Yeh I’d walk to Tipperary for a drink an a bet

Cos I’m fearless

Fuckin fearless

Don’t believe me?

Doubt me now?

Watch me go so.

Till I stick a pint glass into me brow

An’ lepp up onto the counter like a pure fuckin tiger

An’  kick the heads wan by wan off the beer taps

And I  watchin meself  in the big bar mirror

As I dance in the blood an’ the fountains o’ beer

Yeh as  I dance in the blood an’ the fountains o’ beer

******

Fearless is from my 2007 Collection The Boy in The Ring

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Fishing Trip in Gatsby’s

Fishing Trip in Gatsby’s

After a while leaning out over the balcony railing

and peering down

through strobes and dry ice

at the dance-floor

swarming with underage drunks

you swim back towards your seat

quizzing  yourself:

now that I have put my fist through the jukebox

and the sleeve of my finest white shirt

is a sponge of blood

what is the worst?

Are these people whirling beneath me

or are they only fish?

Are they only fish

gagging to be netted

And gutted by the bucketful?

And do fish have feelings?

You’ll answer these riddles in Gatsby’s tonight.

A fish or two will tell

how much or not it hurts

Though you'll goof for a while

on the way

the rotating lights warp

like spooky luminous fish

in a bowl

on the fat jags of a smashed pint-bottle

before flipping it over your shoulder

into the shòal

*****

Fishing Trip in Gatsby’s is from my 2007 Collection The Boy in The Ring.

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Snoogliffers

Snoogliffers

The Masters cackled  the gossip  at break-time

over tea and custard creams at the back of the class,

omadáns all of a kind useless sons of useless fathers.

Snoogliffers we called you. Your whispered names

like the stones we bled on or picked up to throw.

Garda Flynn made more than one of his special school visits

to explain the signals, the long term effects-

red spots around the mouth and nose, glazed over eyes,

mood swings, fivers missing from purses, brain damage-

Keep away don’t speak turn your back and walk away.

Mom overheard talk of an epidemic in the churchyard

while Monsignor damned you through a winter of mass

to strait necked glazed men and women of the pews,

I hid behind my father’s leg in the  huge doorway

waiting with him for communion and the getaway.

Doing harm to no-one but yourselves you

spent a year at it in the shed before better things.

You would call me on my way home from school

“Lordan , Lordan, tell us about the constellations

the men on the moon, the stars in the sky,”.

******

Snoogliffers is from my 2007 collection The Boy in The Ring

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

The Ear

The Ear

Like a canine embryo in a chemical dye

Like a burst calf's lip

Like snails in wine

Like a bleeding purse

the bitten ear

setting in its blood

on the white stripe

in the middle of the road

the man with the sovvies

cupping his hands

to the gouting cavity

in the side of his  head

did not ask  the boy for help

doesn't need his  towel

or his basin of salty water

*****

The Ear is from my 2007 collection The Boy in The Ring

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Scrobbers

Scrobbers

Tread quiet now boys

all in line

down the boreen

Step soft

on the whip of grass

For a stray foot-fall

on that sun-leatherned muck

Or a pebble kicked

off a can in the ditch

Or even so  much

as a cracked twig

Would set the wild dogs

to warning

And draw the farmer down

out of his stony house

With his  screeching wife

And his two blind sons

And a bloody fine end

then

They’d make of us

With a scythe

And a shovel

And an oul shot gun.

*****

Scrobbers is from my 2007 Collection The Boy in The Ring.

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

A Game of Donkey

A Game of Donkey

It's Christmastime in Matty Googan's pub.

The men are all brothers.

The women in love.

The kids have been sitting on Santy;

all are merry having fun .

The boy finds a ring in his lucky bag

and the grown-ups start playing a game.

They're  making a  ring

around a man and his wife.

She's pretending to be a stubborn donkey

down on all fours and braying.

He's the ass's owner in a hurry,

kicking it in the belly,

and dragging it along by the mane.

*****

A Game of Donkey is from my 2007 collection The Boy In The Ring

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

A few bob short

A few bob short

Just a few bob son, if you're carryin, an' we'll see you the next day.

Tellin you again how well the German's used pay out

how the weekends and the nights were double-time,

treble over if you worked a holiday,

how you'd only be scratchin yerself the half of it

but once you kept an eye out you were fine.

The way t'was all functions an' outings.

Dunmore house hired out for the Christmas,

oul Paddy Nolan, god rest him, as Santy,

and a sack full of presents for the kids.

They got the turkey and ham, sherry trifle after,

mints an' cigars, any drink they might fancy.

Or about that  time the 'pool were playin away in Portugal

the little chat he'd had with Beckenbauer,

(to his face they called him Mr Heinkel, his real name)

don't go askin him how or who had fixed it

but didn't Heinkel go an' charter 'em a jumbo jet

an' book three hundred tickets for the game.

In Lisbon they'd wallets fat as millionaires

and the beer was weak as piss and cheap as water.

Some lads'd be in deep shit with their wives

if half what they got up to traveled home,

three whole days they spent as drunk as lords

an' the quare ones all over them like flies.

Now, it's only half way through the long slump

of a Tuesday afternoon. You're getting laughter

from the lounge bar but its canned.

He's sucking the  arse out of a Johnny Blue.

His glass is damn near empty. He's a few bob short.

On his mother's life you'll get it back into your hand.

********

A few bob short is from my 2007 Collection The Boy in The Ring

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Today John Lennon will die

Today John Lennon will die

Cold enough for gloves.

A sky the colour of tripe

Clings to Clonakilty’s rooftops.

Our two spires hide in fog.

At school we warm our fingers

twisting little figures out of mála,

The last flecks of rainbow congealing

into shit-brown as we roll.

At small break the big boys beat

the babies up. At big break

they beat us up again. My belly hurts.

Mrs Crowley scolds “Only Cows Have Bellies“.

At home a young woman is suddenly old.

She stretches on the settee weeping.

A man on the telly keeps standing up and falling over,

standing up and falling over.

******

Today John Lennon Will Die is from my 2007 Collection The Boy in The Ring.

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

The Boy in the Ring

The Boy in the Ring

Where is the boy?

The boy is in the ring.

And where is the ring?

The ring is in the school-yard.

And what makes up the ring?

The ring is made of other boys.

What kind is this ring?

It is a spinning ring, and  a jeering ring

a hissing ring

a rhyming ring

a kicking ring

a spitting ring

a teeth, tongue  and eyelid ring , a hair and eyes ring ,

a  snot and nostrils ring , a knee and knuckles ring ,

a fist and boot and mouth and ear and elbow ring.

Who is the god of this ring?

The god of the ring is unknown.

Jack O the Lantern maybe

or the scarecrow with the two axes

or a wailing midnight wind

or a  sack of smashed glass.

What is the boy doing in the ring?

The boy is looking

at himself in the ring.

He is sitting down

and crying

and looking at himself

in the ring.

Why did the boy go into the ring?

The boy never went into the ring.

When will the boy get out of the ring?

*********

This is the title poem of my 2007 collection The Boy in The Ring.

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Anti-fracking poem

Anti-fracking poem

Beware the one who talks to you of your children’s future

for he carries an Earthquake machine

that will rubble the lives of your children.

Beware the one who talks to you of Investment and Community Projects

for he will bribe the weak and the craven among you

and invest in division and hatred.

Beware the one who talks to you of protecting the environment

and of safety procedures. She is getting millions

to lie and will protect herself

from every consequence

with an army of lawyers.

Most of all, beware the one who talks to you of jobs.

He is searching for loot and, after he gets it,

will leave you all to drown in a hole

you might never get out of.

I’ll tell you how I know this:

Years ago a Jobsman came to my old town

spitting hundreds of jobs at us.

He opened mines and factories,

looting the earth and the people.

Even greater loot came to the Jobsman

by way of the politicians

who made sure that, just like them,

he didn’t have to worry about taxes

or for paying any rent for the factories and mines,

which, by rights, belonged to the people.

Of course, the people did not (and yet do not)

even belong to themselves. The Jobsman paid the people

just enough so that they

would unproblematically belong to him

for the little while he needed them for loot-extraction.

To cut a long, sad story short:

a few years passed and then, of course, the Jobsman fucked off

with all the loot, and all the jobs.

All he left was a great big hole,

a great big magnetic hole in the side of my town.

This hole has had many different names

for all of the different people

who have fallen into it over the years.

For most it’s called The Unemployment Hole.

For many, it’s been Addiction Hole.

For other’s, Black Depression Hole.

So many have fallen and fall and are falling

into The Suicide Hole.

Over the years I have heard many women screaming

unanswered in Wife-Beating Hole.

This great big hole in the side of my old town, gouged out

in one swoop by the Jobsman: I call it Memory Hole.

I call it Memory Hole

because thirty years on

people are still falling into the hole

and very few remember

and even fewer will ever admit

who it was that dug the hole.

So, my advice to you-

from someone who knows-

is this: when the Jobsman comes,

gather your strength,

gather your greatest numbers around,

march as one in his direction

and run the lying cheating bastard

out of town.

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Explanations of War

Explanations of War

See all those bright lights whizzing around in the sky-

They are only the stars throwing a party.

And the shaking you feel beneath you,

The shaking that jars your teeth and your bones-

That is only the way the earth dances.

And the bangs and roars, the cracks and blasts and booms-

These are only the sounds of  little spirits tuning  their instruments.

And the horrible wailing that rises and falls, rises and falls above the buildings-

That is only the rooftops shrieking their envy that they cannot fly off.

And the high fires that climb above the rooftops-

These are the rejoicing souls of our city flying to heaven.

And the black clouds of smoke blotting the beautiful woman of the moon-

These are our dark acts evaporating.

And you my child, lying still in my arms,

Lying stiff as a mould of ancient clay,

You my child, you are only sleeping.

Explanations of War is from my 2007 collection The Boy in the Ring


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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Skinny-dipping, White’s Cove.

Skinny-dipping, White’s Cove.

For Richard Boyd-Barrett


We had plenty of fags, 

cans, matches,

The stereo was working.


We lit nightlights 

and set them in the sand 

between shells 

and fossil-patterned stones.


Between us

We got a joint together,

Passed it round.


We lit sparklers,

Set off fireworks,

The night had many colours.

The breeze was alive.


We had leaves in our hair 

And stuck to our clothes 

from the forest.

Huge birds squalled inside sea mist.


We stripped off, first one,

Then the rest 

Ran whooping and hooting and howling

Into the bay.


I was worried about the Guards

Sneaking up on us,

But fuck the Guards. Fuck them.


Braced in the water, ghosts

Fled my blood and swam away,

I forgot the tug of time and doom,

I forgot.

Ashore we couldn’t find

Where we had flung our underwear

So we left it there among the odds and ends,

Then up the concrete steps,

Iron echoes on the  railway bridge,

The slow ascent to heavy-lidded dawn.

What old man puffing after

A cocker spaniel,

What early morning jogger

Found our leavings lying in that cove?

Fragments abandoned,

Relics of a lost culture.

**********

From my 2007 Collection The Boy in The Ring

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Mirror

Mirror


on the shelf above the fireplace

in front of a dead woman’s mirror 

the ring is in the envelope

with the letter and the keys


the boy is studying the mirror 

how everything passes it by 

how it doesn’t get involved 

how it forgets what it sees


*


Mirror is from my 2007 Collection, The Boy in The Ring

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

For The Tuam Babies

For The Tuam Babies

Nameless in life

we died without names

because without a name

we couldn’t live

& without a life

we couldn’t die

& if we didn’t die

we weren’t killed

& if we weren’t killed

no-one killed us

& if no-one killed us

there are no killers

& if there are no killers

then no-one can lie

about the lives we didn’t live

& the deaths we didn’t die.

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Nightmare Pastoral

Nightmare Pastoral

for Philip Coleman

It is a little known lie,

too absurd to be considered a rumour,

that the late South American writer, Robert Bolano

spent a week on vacation

in a remote but unidentified

west of ireland village

in 1969

on his way from a riot in Mexico

to a riot in Paris.

In the often unfathomable code

of the young poet, later novelist’s, diaries

the unknown village 

is referred to as ‘Ballylonely’

or, two or three times,

as 'Baloney'.

On the day every screen in the world

shows the US stick a flag in the moon

over and over

Bolano gets destroyed along 

with all the local gawkers

in a pub and general store

the writer disguises as'Paddy’s'.

Later that night, fitfully asleep in unnamed

and unfamiliar lodgings,

he has a terrible dream

which he scribbles out 

in a feverish rush upon waking.

In the dream two pissed priests are raping 

a nine year old girl

up a boreen (he says 'grassy lane')

in the back of a van

not too far from a petrol station.

When they have done with the rape

they strangle and dump

her out the back door

and drive off, stopping for petrol

and cigarettes.

The two guards-

he calls them cops-

who lead the investigation

that follows

are about to move in and arrest

one of the priests

when they are told

in no uncertain terms

by the powers that be

to close the case

and forget all about it.

The two priests are hauled in by the bishop

whom Bolano describes,

in the indecipherable language of dreams,

as having a face like a deck of cards.

The bishop orders them offstage to missions

in remotest Africa

with the ringing admonition

to “bring the lord’s word

as well as his wrath to the savages”.

Next morning, back in Paddy's,

Bolano describes his nightmare

to a pair of local sages

nursing post-moon-landing cures at the counter.

‘Bad Pint you were after’ says one.

A diagnosis confirmed by his friend:

'Bad pint. 

The last of the barrel.

The mindbending dregs.'

(This last phrase, hardly Irish,

Bolano draws a line under.)

A hot toddy was all that he wanted

to settle his nerves.

‘Teddy?’ says the Latino, mishearing.

‘Whiskey, that is ’ said

Paddy, a bit of a know-all,

from his leather throne

behind the counter:

'I'll put on the kettle.

First one's the house's'.

'He means it's free'

translated one of the sages

'as a bird' said the other,

'a little bird 

in an endless wood

in the middle of winter.' 

Then, writes Bolano ,

still paralytic at this stage 

no doubt or otherwise 

out of his mind,

the two seers and Paddy the vintner

started whistling not like 

birds of paradise or swallows

or like starlings or even like crows

but like vultures.'

Bolano drank the hot whiskey, a double. Then another.

That day he ends up getting very very drunk

and, so he tells it,

arrested

for his own safety

and to preserve public order.

This is the kind of thing

he would later go on 

to write about.

***********

Nightmare Pastoral is from my 2010 Collection, Invitation to a Sacrifice.

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

At Oscar Wilde’s Grave

It all begins with an idea.

At Oscar Wilde’s Grave

Who stole the angel’s glory?

Still, you’ve got the rarest grave in Montparnasse,

Granite teeming with lipstick kisses,

A shoal of petals in a mountain lake,

A cloud burst of tropical fish,

And taped to a withering rose there’s a note:

Thank you for teaching me that I was good.

I kiss the teacher too

For you are more than welcome

To the imprint of my gaping mouth

If I can stay awhile in reverence

To watch my wet gift fading,

November sun licking my lips.

********

At Oscar Wilde’s Grave is from my 2006 collection The Boy in The Ring

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

The Four Honesties

It all begins with an idea.

THE FOUR HONESTIES

The honesty of wind: everything must whistle by, everything must blow.

The honesty of sea: everything must churn, everything must flow.

The honesty of sun: everything must feed the fire, everything must glow.

The honesty of earth: everything must go to seed, everything must sow.

***

The Four Honesties is from my 2022 collection, Medium

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Gaff

It all begins with an idea.

Gaff

I recall that we took care of him one evening

we took him out the back and we broke his fucking balls

The Pogues, Boys from the County Hell

After getting off outside the rented gaff in Palmerstown

they, the Kurdish twins, Latif and Khalid, went on in and found

the back door open, and the landlord's wide-screen TV and his

microwave and his DVD and his stereo with the  5.1 surround

all gone , and on a white tile in the centre of the kitchen floor

the icing was a warm, steaming half-pound squiggle of shit.

What a compliment! So they got on the land-line to the landlord

and though they didn't really have enough of the english to explain ( see it

was their near fluent cousin Tariq, who made all the arrangements

for the house), still they did their faltering, st-stuttering pidgin

damnedest to communicate the unwelcome event taken place-

though the crap, they agreed, would just be too indecorous to mention.

Took all of 35 minutes for the landlord to burn up the road from Naas,

by which the lads had both had to flee twice up the stairs to spew up their lunch,

from shoveling that mess up. The perfume of course they couldn't get rid of,

and when the landlord addressed them in sentences punctured with snorts, grunts

and tut- tuts, the two boys assumed invisible spores  had this measured

young man in a suit so irate. He seemed to use the wrong parts of his throat.

So they nodded and were jollied when he announced something like he'd return anon

to fix it all up, and took the instruction to sit tight and wait

and by now anyways the stink it was fading, or were they just getting

used ? The nose is a merciful beast; how else could anyone keep

down their food when they, like, live in a dump, or sewer, or trench?

Well half an hour on Mr landlord strode in at the head of a slew of Gardai

who proceeded to read out caution and rights while cuffing Latif and Khalid

who of course didn't have a balls notion what the Gardai were saying, and with the height

of fear and frustration began loud pleadings in Farsi, but their pleadings,

which i suppose in this climate is hardly surprising, were not heard quite

rightly, the coppers deciding to take them for threats and abuse, which

in themselves are gravely offensive, and add a great deal of weight to a charge sheet.

And what happened next? And what were they like? Was there kicking and biting

or did they go quiet? Were they were hauled out in full view of their street?

Were they too proud to cry?  Did they shake? Did colour drain

out through cracks in their skin the way water is parched from a lake?

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Dave Lordan Dave Lordan

Lost Tribe Of The Wicklow Mountains

It all begins with an idea.

Lost Tribe of the Wicklow Mountains

I believe in them, so they do exist.

Behind waterfalls. In sunless crevices.

In densest rhodendroned foliage.

On slopes of fluttering shadow and scree.

Nothing I know of,

Apart from these lines,

Speaks of this tribe.

They might be waifs that escaped from The lead-mines.

They might be vagrants who dropped out of ballads and poems.

They might be rebels

Who outran the redcoats

Until the redcoats dissolved.

They might be ravers and wiccans

Who squat in high ruins

Holding thousand day hooleys

Cavorting in roofless great halls.

They might change into foxes in moonlight

And paw through the motorway snow

To scavenge the exurban dustbins.

But, sincerely, this tribe has no patterns.

It fits no descriptions.

Nothing about it - beyond its certain existence - translates:

No reason, no theses, no customs, no goal.

The tribe is my credo.

That’s all.

Strong is my faith.

Strong is my beat.

Strong is my magic.

Strong is my want

& wanting, I rise till

I’m vanishing with them,

Spinning in to a mist

Where I’ll never be spotted

Above Mullaghcleevaun.

It’s so righteous to stray.

It’s so good to abandon.

It’s so just to ascend

With the lost and forgotten

To summits the rooted

Cannot even imagine.

***********

This is the title poem from my 2014 collection Lost Tribe of The Wicklow Mountains.

It was adapted by Christy Moore for his 2016 album Lily.

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